Dark souls: Legends in Lordran
by The Golden Bathtub
Summary: Cast of dark souls and dark souls 2 in Lordran. Adventures, fights, and mysteries. Join charecters you know In ths story as they unravel mysteries and other weird things. In dark souls in thing is possible especially in fanfiction. Don't read third chapter read 1,2,4 read the 3rd if you dare dont forget to review
1. Time 4 school

"Crap crap crap!" Haxis said running with his companion.(Today has been great) chased by a giant chicken boss then SPLAT! BEEP BEEP BEEP! "Ahhhh morning already 6:37 what this is to early... Solaire." Solaire crashes through the ceiling of Haxis' room. "Haxis isn't it a great day to praise the sun anyway I set up your clock earleir kiddo." Gwyndolin opens the door and half asleep she says"Hey buttmunchies if you to are gunna get kinky be qui-" She noticed her brother standing on a pile of rubble sunlight above him in his famous pose she got angry."Dumbass" She mutters under her breath.a few hours later the kids Oscar,Haxis Ornstein,Smough,Gwyndolin,Gwynevere, and Solaire. "Oskie pass the syrup pal." asked Orn. Smough got 5 pancakes and scarfed them in seconds."Smough your going to choke don't eat quickly." informed Orn. Oscar ready for school already."Hey Oscar school isn't ready till 8:00 chill we got 30 minuites to praise the sun." Solaire told a eager Oscar. Later they went to school on the bus was a eventful ride."Ornstein that guy looks funny" Gwyndolin points at the heide knight. Oscar saw a dragon flyby the bus he waves to it. "Dafaq" Ornstein yells angrily. Oscar saw someone who caught his eye the he puts on his smooth talker ring (DAFAQ) "hey Babi how you doin" Oscar Says smoothly. The red haired girl busted out laughing until they got to school. Oscar with his head down exited the bus he spent so much time at the Lordran high school as well as his foster siblings. (jeez another day at school another day wasted lets get this day over with) his brother solaire with Haxis goes to there class and Oscar goes to his home room with Gwyndolin and Ornstein who were in all his classes. "Wonder if there she is usually late I hope she is I'm not waiting 2 hours for that long." complained Orn. "Hello children come in kids." The kis go in Oscar sees the same girl from the bus drinking a Estus flask her green hood was on.(Man I wish what happend on the bus didn't happen she must be new I've never seen her she looks like she isn't from here). Oscar in deep thought like always his to friend Drake (in elite knight set) and Sev (in faraam set) "sup brev" greeted Drake "Hey guys what's up." Out of nowhere the wall exploded!


	2. Bathroom Fight

In the 10th grade bathroom Solaire was in the bathroom washing his hands. "It's Solaire the gaylord of sunlight why the gayest person in lordran the sun of gwyn." said Dragonrider. Solaire retaliated " shut up queefballs screw you eat a dragon's left testicle' Solaire said. The dragon rider had a few friends the rider throws a punch but Solaire blocks and counters him with a elbow to the face. "AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH" yells the Rider. Then Solaire back kicks him rips off a lead pipe and beats the Rider with the pipe and brain matter spews all over the bathroom. "You made me bleed nippleass I will hurt you sunfag!" The Rider yells while throwing a punch Solaire side steps then with all his might he charges a lighting punch "LIGHTNING STRIKE" Solaire's fist directly hits him and sends Dragon rider flying through lockers classrooms and he finally stopped. "WTF DAFAQ JUST HAPPEDN DRGNRINER FCKIN-" Drake slaps Sev who was in retard mode Oscar was confused and leaves before anyone noticed him because the school might figure out the two are brothers. It was time for 1st period Smough, Haxis, and Gwynevere are in pyro class. Gwynevere was only in that class to feel mentally challenged which was normal "no I hate pyro class " complained Haxis. Smough was trying to pick up a pencil but accidently rips of a girl's panty. And Smough freaks out throwing it into his firebomb and the vaginal jucies mixed with the fire exploding the classroom. The fire alarm was pulled and the school was burnt down to the ground Oscar and Drake were together on the field "I have the weirdst boner." Drake says out loud kinda like getting a boner off your teacher who is old as hell but you get one anyway. "TMI Drake don't say things like that ever again." The kids go home early to the castle Ornstein sees the same dragon from earlier and sticks up his middle finger at it "Fuck you dragon!" At the castle and Gwyndolyn is talks to Ornstein "Hey Ornstein would you like to futt buck?" asked Gwyndolyn Ornstein half shocked and had a boner That was visible through his armor. "Your my sister we can't do this that is terrible!" Ornstein panicked. "Foster sister now we will fuck like wild horses." Gwyndolyn said. Gwyndolyn's snakes pulled Orn over taking his groin piece off grabbing meat pencil and grabbed it with her hand (Oh no I can't take it has she done this before she started like 30 seconds ago). She opened her legs releasing green fluids knocked him back lick a firehouse filled green kool-aid. Orn had been hit full force with her dark magic spell called vage flood then he was pissed and furiously pounded her with his pencil. (Uhhhhhh this is what I've longed for finally Gwynevere or Emerald couldn't take his v-card.) 2 hours later Ornstein felt tired and said "Gwyndolyn I'm going to-." Ornstein released his meat butter on Gwyndolyn then it went all over Gwyndolyn's room when it got on her it stung her lick when someone puts your hand in water and puts electronics in the water shocking you. "Your lightning butter shocked me." Ornstein looked sad it was his first time and he fucked up. "I'm sorry" he apologized like a gay little boy. gwyndolyn lifts his chin up with two fingers " I respect you Ornstein" she pulls him in and they starTed to mek out. Den Solaire walkEdIda fuk in."THE FUUUUCCCKKK"Solaire sceramed


	3. Oscar gets jealous of ornstein read chp4

Oscar was outside the castle and saw emerald walking with her dad. " Oscar that Kawaii bitch is here put da moves on dat hoe." Drake said being a joker as usual (joker his nickname) Oscar ran down to her and did so. "Hey Babi how ya doin gurl." he said like a retarded love idiot. "Hi Oscar my dad needs to speak to yours about sum fckn bitch bulling me." said emerald chewing gum. "So let's skip foreplay I want you to be my 6uRlFr13Nd and I can b yo Bo1Fr13Nd!" Oscar said to her with everything in his dick I mean heart. "I sorry but no I that you were gay because of that time last year in smithing class besides I LIKE ORNSTEIN!" she said to him. Oscar felt like he a giant stomped him in the balls. "You like my brother ORNSTEIN YOU-"Oscar was interrupted by a loud BANG CRASH KABOOOOOOOOOM!

"Calm down Solaire put the lightning spear down"Ornstein said. "You are having smex with my brother you homosarus fagdick"Solaire insulted him. "Gwyndolyn your man dat makes a gay man then I'll be turned into a choir boy!"Ornstein runs out the room on the balcony."You don't know the full story lord Gwyn had a portal to a different universe the Gwyn from that universe was didnt let me go with them because he wanted a girl caused the Gwendolyn form this universe was a gay little boy with lunar powers so they dressed him as me and switched us out." Gwendolyn informed Ornstein. Emerald walked up to Gwendolyn's room almost slipping on Orn's dick butter "Ornstein I have something to tell you!"She Screamed like a if a elephant was bit in the balls by a mouse with rabies. "Ornstein I LOVE YOU!" She screamed. Ornstein was confused he had no idea what happedend he was smexing up Gwyndolyn the solaire the emerald. Ornstein wont lie emerald was pretty cute and he did have a small crush on here back in the 8th grade but in 9th grade he never talked to here. (Damn who do I choose balls!)"Ummm... I will choose... Emerald!"He choose her instead of Gwendolyn because he did have feelings for her but thought of Gwyndolyn as a sister. (Da FACK HE CHOSE THATFCKNI CUNT CHFYVGFHVJJFUDGCGBF) Geyndolin thought as she witnessed dis. Ornstein and Emerald's hand and walked away from the room. Solarie did the praise the sun gesture and flew off. Oscar witnesses the whole thing and was pissed at Orn.


	4. Drake's worst day ever 1

Oscar tried to kill Ornstein but failed and was sent to the asylum. At school Gwyndolyn was outside with Drake smoking maorwana . Then the free period ended "Where did you get the maorwana " asked Gwyndolyn . "I got it from blight town" answered Drake. "Drake " Gwyndolyn tried to hold arm but Drake pulled back "Hell no your my friends. "Drake I will not take no as a answer I want your DARK SWORD (Drake is black)!" she pulled him into a closet using her snakes and took out his Magic Missile. She started to lick it "It taste like ice cream and root beer" she told him."I feel like a ass might as well enjoy it" he told her. "Glad you see it my way Drake now for the fun part." she lifted up her skirt revealing white high socks and wet panty. "what do you want me to do?" he asked since it was his first time. " I want you to make me yo waifu" she said with pride she was still a virgin because Ornstein put it in her futt but saved her mirror shield for Drake cause she wanted his magic missile. She the fused her shield with his missile and Drake was going faster than a horny child molester sighting a little boy alone at a playground. "Damn this is awesome I was thinking of giving Gwynevere-" she interrupted Drake "Shut up shitdick!" she said angrily. Then he unloaded his penis glue into Gwyndolyn she unleashed a screamed super load like a if you were to castrate a king kong with scissors the size of the moon! Drake was all sweaty and in need of a soda "Damn I need a cigar" said Gwyndolyn as she licked off Drake's penis fuel. They got dressed and went to their class "My legs are aching 3rd period is gym class but first." they started meking out then went to class. Drake met up with Solaire who greeted him "Drake buddy I'm glad to have someone like you during this Tim my younger brother (Adoptive) tried to kill Orn during the night and we jumped the fuck outta him it's been hard I talked to Sev he might move but I'm glad to have you...you wouldn't betray me." Solaire made him feel guilty after smexing his sister "no" he said Solaire hugged him making Drake feel like a ass butthole Gwyndolyn walked by winking at him. He grunted feeling like shit sorta like if you tell your friend you'd never betray him but you fuck his sister on his birthday and catches you. After school he went to anor lono because he had to spend the rest of the school year there because his parents are on vacacition. "Drake it has been a while you can stay in Oscar's old room his retarded ass is in the asylum"Lord Gwyn told him. Drake laid on Oscar's bed he was in deep thought then thought about Gwyndolyn milky jugs and got nerect. "I want to make smex in her but Solaire." he said to himself. Solaire was down in the kitchen making a sandwich and watched tv. So Drake was able to sneak into Gwyndolyn's room principal Gwyn and Gwynevere were picking up emerald rumors spread the she was breaking up with Ornstein because she liked Drake. After Drake was done smexing he was glad he ejaculated his dick off. He left the room and bumped into Smough "Um Drake why are you in her room." Drake was sweating he thought about Excuse."I was bouncing a bouncy ball and then it flew into her room and then I got it." Smough was about to walk away then notice Drake was covered in stuff."why are you covered in icing is there cake in there?!" Drake noticed he was covered his dick oatmeal "Um my armor me tripped when I was in there and got covered in paint chips." Smough had a wide smile on his face " I'll get it off for you I love eating paint chips!" Then Smough started eating his flesh dressing then he started to collapse "HELP SMOUGH IS FOAMING OUT THE MOUTH!


	5. Sinister puppetmaster

AN:I have read recent reviews they were good after reading the second review I will try something different reviewer if you read it thank you also. I right the stories with a IPad so It will be really crappy I will try different styles of humor spread with friends hopefully they like it I'm not the funniest hope fully people like the changes. I'll be happy to take suggestions on story arcs I'm think of adding artorias wink wink ideas for something like this are hard to come by anyway enough of rambling I present to few chapter 4!

"Oh boy uhh Smough you okay." Drake asked like a idiot ass. Smough was foaming out the mouth."Shit well umm I'm out" Drake said running down stairs bumping into Solaire who's perfect sandwich got all over him. Drake GTFOed faster than people in the 2014 Godzilla movie. He was running and ended up in the asylum area "Damn I never ran that fast since that time in we pranked Ornstein I still got the scars." He was somewhere he never seen before then he heard giant footsteps turned around and saw a giant ass giant a new form of a giant. Then his friend Sev ran up to him with the fire longsword "catch" he said as he threw it. "What why are you here." "This is the schools detention zone Principal Gwyn caught me and pursuer fighting" Sev told him."Well what about-" Drake was interrupted by the giant ass giant who was tired of them info dumping knocking the to into the water.

At the hospital Smough was being hospitalized it turns out he ends up getting diabetes."Smough what have I told you about watching your health now look retard your in the hospital." Smough didn't remember some of the past events. Then Gwyn visits Orn "Hey kid-". Gwyn noticed Orn's armor becoming dark Orn looks at him on the breathing machine. "Hello father how is your day" Ornstein said like a serial killer his voice becoming raspy the more he talks. Gwyn gets out unaware of Orn floating behind him Gwyn rests at a bonfire back to his castle. Solaire opens the door for his father "Fuck out the way BITCH!" Gwyn told his son. Solaire's second great sandwich falls on him staining his armor "Get the fuck over here assdick" he throws a sunlight whip pulling his father into a punch. Orn walks through the door shooting a purple spear at him impaling Solaire to the wall. He got his spear put it towards Gwyn's throat "Die motha-" Solaire throws a sunlight spear at him knocking Ornstein out cold."Praise the sun bitch uhh" Solaire said as he most likely passed out (or did he) Gwyn looks up seeing Solaire bleeding like a woman on her...nevermind."Father what happened what happened...brother Solaire!" Gwynevere said crying like a pussy."Ehhh he was my least favorite child I'll make another one." Gwyn was told her like a asshat."I'm back assholes I had to walk from outer lordran (not official you probably new that) you could have picked me up with the car at least!" Smough complained hating his life. He sees the two probably dead bodies I call all there stuff!" Then the both corpses started to turn hollow "No you will not take my stuff." They said in unison like too people who want to talk about their thoughts but can't get it out and begin to hate each other. Solaire starts to rip the spear out Smough smashes Solaire against the wall 7 times killing him taking solaire's soul Gwyn , Haxis , and Gwynevere watching eating popcorn. Smough had descent fighting style although he was a fat ass but if Ornstein manages to tear out the spear everyone has to jump his ass like when people invades you in dark souls. Smough goes to Ornstein and Orn holds his hand out. Smough grabs his hand then smashes him "BITCH" He smiled as he kills his best friend for good.

2 Months later at the funeral of the two boys. "We are here to pay the respects of two... you know what I HATE these two fuckers alright always causing trouble at school I can't get a good education because of these fucks always blowin shit up they are assholes!" the Heide Knight ranted on Ornstein and Solaire."Stop this I have news" said Drake exclaimed interrupting the god damn funeral. People started talking about Drake because word spread about the death of him in Sev."I'm fine but I'm hollowing but all this fighting is the doing of that bitch Nashandra" Drake told the city. Everyone was shocked she has not been mentioned for a while "Hold on how do we know if it's her what if this happened naturally" a random person suggest."It was a vision of one of Orn's friends he ar... ar sumthin?" He said trying to remember "Artorias" a woman said walking Toward Drake. "The Abyss Walker one of the four knights of Gwyn." she told Drake."Artorias that guy he isn't the most subtle of fellows how could he unravel a sinister plot like this?" Gwyn wondered "What did Artorias exactly tell you?" the mystery woman said."Well he said KYAAH-" Drake right about to reveal information."Is that ancient language for bullshit" Gwyn being a ass like usual. Then the woman noticed a shadowy figure who threw a spear of some sort. Drake started to fade away the woman had a some what idea on the assassin he wore full dark armor."Murder murder" the same guy from earlier. The woman thought (who could've done this) she picked up a note with a picture of a black colored sun (Mackurio) she thought as she crumbled the note. Assassins in dark armor started killing civilians and fighting guards. She picked up Drakes's dual broadswords she hated the fact she had to be disguised and had to leave her armor and weapons behind."Hey woman what is your name?" Gwyn said fighting off assassins."Well okay but it might be best if you don't know." she tried to make a excuse. Gwyn was beyond pissed "Tell me you dirty wench!" he said angrily."Fine as you wish!" she said.

"Ciaran" she said with venom in her tone.


	6. The A-team of screwjobs

Haxis had woke up in his bed 3:37 hole in his roof and his door was open all to familiar (events of chapter one until they leave for school.). Haxis ran catching up with Oscar and Drake at the funeral the lady i here armor on the shoulders of a black Ornstein, another black knight who fell from a tree and a giant with a bow. Ciaran has small talk with the three then Ornstein taps ere on the shoulder and brings here to the woods. One hour later she came out clearly sad "Our goal is traveling through time to stop Nashadra but we failed our leader Orn has left so that either leaves me or Gough to be captian." "What happened to Ornstein?" asked Drake as Ciaran looked down and finally broke into tears.(Me and my mouth making a woman cry.) he thought as he walked towards here slowly."I must not tell as it is Orn's last wish."My...dear...Ornstein." Everyone's jaw dropped she had feelings for Ornstein (WHAT BASTARD WROTE THIS oh wait me i already hear the rioters.) everything was weird but it was only a matter of time to get weirder "WHAS GOIN ON WHN R WE GOIN 2 CHUKIE CHESS?"(Great he finally woke up I'm so happy.) she thought sacasticly. "So is this like your A-team because we will definitly get rekt?" Drake said. Solaire was watching from a tree and brought some of his "friends" "Can i leave now?!"said a agitated herald."You bastard i have to take test today." Creighton said pulling out a axe. Solaire did not respond just watched as the "A-team" talked.

Ornstein was at school in 's class COUGH lost cunthouse COUGH."Ornstein pay attention you'll need to know how to be a gankshit!" the Sinner said. The black Orn came in the room and disenigrated into a soul and Orn picked it up "What the fuck" Najaka screamed. Orn was confused and acted on instinct "Mrs Sinner i got to shit please." Sinner gave a nasty look and pointed at the door. Najaka followed Orn but tripped on her human legs Orn looked back noticing her (Najaka was she following me?). Solaire crashed through the roof 2 feet above the ground "Hey fuckers your comin with me!" The 3 were teleported to the area were everyone was "Nice to see you guys made it" principal Gwyn said."Brother Ornstein you have quite the taste for monster women is this one your new waifu?". Najaka was confused waifu what is it and it made her sweat like a summer in a third world country . So they all stand there talking when Ciaran gathered everyone's attention. "Alright i gathered everyone here in qa effort to fight against Nashandra who has also gotten friendly with Manus." Ciaran summarized the situation. "Lady you know how much your fucking us." Drake said with anger.

"Now we have taken attendence but we have brought strong warriors just in case your all not strong enough first we have.""I go by onion bro and mah main man ovah here is heide knight!" Ciran was weirded out but shook it off "Next!". The herald and Creighton walked over "Im Creighton and this is Emerald now Gwyndolin get your arse over here you have my skyrim disc give it back ya muppet!" Creighton pulled his axe and began to chase Gwyndolin. Najaka stood behind Orn who stood inbetween Ciaran and Arty (Artorias) "Ciaran right you serve my father right?". She looked down then right back at him (they both sound the same do they sound the same in the...) "Umm yes dear." Did she let that slip out she thought after saying that.

Solaire was standing a cliff "This reminds me of majula ever been there?" Asked Emerald. Solaire was quite Majula's sun is very nice i visit almost every summer...TO PRAISE THAT BITCH!" Solaire instantly settled down as he was a very hyperactive person in the flip of a coin. Solaire watched everyone happy as they mingled he knew that dark times were coming and perhaps suns will set permenatly. "Segiemyer hand over that estus my throat is parched." Drake said to his new friend. Ciaran and Ornstein were on a cliff she put back on her mask "Orn i hope your as well as your counterpart ye was special to m...us." Ciaran told him. She bit her tounge so she would not say anything stupid. "So is this like the-" Ornstein was interuptted by Ciaran mouth assulting him. Later that night he fucked her right in the pussy.(You want me to go in detail no im trying to change okay im not the lemon bathtub.) Ornstein was beyond sore this tike he didnt regret it the room was pitch black but he felt something someone who wasn't the woman who he met few hours ago who dated another version of himself and slept with on the "first date"."You sleep here to horny Orny?" Asked Artorias. Ornstein had a mixed feeling of confusion embarassment and everyother thing you would feel waking up and noticing someone in the same bed with you besides the person your banging."Artorias watch your tounge your supposed to be sleeping with Gough tonight." said Ciaran as her temper rised. Ornstein reached for his phone that was vibrating like a (Ohh no on my fanfics my jokes are classy) he had a text from Haxis saying to get to there cabin.

Whats going to happen next make your guess absoulutly no one who reads my shitty fanfics on the next chapter of no one gives a donkey riding shit!


	7. Anti-climatic final battle

Ornstein walked to the cabin and the door opened for him as Drake walked out. Drake had been given orders to go to a pace known as Aldia's keep he had to pick up something. Drake was at the giant door and rang the buzzer."Who ish it thish ish Aldia brother of Vendrick sthate your buishnesh plesh." Drake wondered about Aldia's speech impediment apparently he was the same age as him and Ornstein which is 16 but Aldia's intelligence was great enough to rival the gods."Umm Principal Gwyn told me to stop by-"Oh yesh Drake sho come in asho watch out shum of my expirmentshhh are in the lawn" Drake walked through the garden into Aldia's castle. "Oh you must be Drake." "Wait you had a speech problem" Aldia scratched his sage mask (AN: I don't know what to call it but pictures of Aldia depict him with that thing I want one so badly though) "It is hard to explain my impediment is sorta random coming I guess." Aldia gestured Drake to come down a hall into a lab."HEEEEELP PLEASE PLEASE NO NO NOT THE NEEDLES NOOOOOO NEEDLES IT BUUUUURRRRNS" "What's with that guy?" "Just a little syringe filled with a little substance that may or may not be harmful" Aldia pointed to a room with a box on a table."This is what Gwyn wanted this room used to be my sister's" "What did she die?" "No she went to college in Catarina now get the stuff to Gwyn I'm packing my things I'll be acompanying you back to your Gwyn."

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! "YES it has arrived finally!" Aldia set the box on the table "Principal Gwyn is it a powerful item?" asked Drake and Oscar asked "Father is it a weapon?" Solaire added "Father is it a spell perhaps a helmet of ultimate super doom?" Gwyn open the box to reveal...My Little Pony merchindise "Yes the Equstria Girls movie this was supposed to be lost and sunset butterballs" Aldia face palmed along with Solaire, Drake, and Oscar who couldn't believe Principal/Lord Gwyn one of the most powerful people was a Brony. "MLP rule 34 yes how did you know I was a clopper?" "When I mentioned MLP your sex level raised to dangerous heights." (Father is a clopper he faps to animated ponies what in the fuck) Oscar though as his dad fan girled. "So I heard your trying to stop my brother's waifu." Gwyn stopped playing with his toys and looked and Aldia "Waifu no no no not Vendrick." "Last time I talked to him he was going on a date with her." Gwyn, Oscar, Solaire and Aldia ran to the nearest Burger King.

"Welcome to Burger King may I take your order." "Nito you work here?" BOOOOOOOOOOM! "Get your hands of my brother you slut!" Nashandra got up and transformed into her true being her sycthe of want breaking a table. "Humans and demi gods all the same Aldia you reject the throne but Vendrick doesn't confusing it is." Nashandra fired a super laser beam of mega death at Solaire and Oscar had no time to react so he jumped in front. CLANK! Was the sound of his armor hitting the ground. "Oscar noooo he wasn't ready!" Aldia said not giving a fuck. Solaire ran towards her and Nashandra threw a dark spear hitting Solaire in the chest. "You fuckers suck seriously!" Aldia said as Solaire punched her in the face. Solaire kicked her in the stomach throwing punches faster than a panther on steroids "Ow stop that" Nashandra swung her scythe but Solaire dodged and grabbed it on the second swing and broke it over his knee like a candy cane.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIT YOU BROKE MY FUCKIN SCYTHE YOU COCK" screamed Nashandra. Vendrick tried to move away but Aldia grabbed him by the cape "You have to explain to mom about how your dating a cougar and your only 15 dumbass!" "SHODEUKEN" said Solaire uppercuting her in the jaw."Die you wretched whore SUNLIGHT!" everyone was confused as Solaire put both hands to his side as a blinding light formed from his hands."ORB bitch!" the orb flew towards her and she tried to block but it incinerated her."Where here Nashandra where is...she." Ciaran saw her soul on the ground "Well thanks for doing the dirty work i will take her soul to a secret place to protect it from not only evil or even us I will not return goodbye everyone." everyone was confused on what just happened Ornstein walked in as Ciaran left in her portal along with him was Emerald and Seigemeyer "We came as soon as FUCK she is dead already well we can go back to school now" everyone looked at eachother and at once they said "Meh" they left the Burger King and went home Ornstein took Oscar to the hospital and slept for the next day of school. Orn woke up early in the morning with something on his bed he picked it up and saw the black him and Ciaran he thought would he become that guy?

(Drake's POV) Drake walked over to Lurker's class and opened he door only to be hit by great resonate soul. He got up and sat in his seat next to Gwynevere and went to get something in his bag but got distracted by her unpermitted sized boobs and had no idea what to do. (Shit I need to pay attention to the teacher so I can pass this stupid test) "Drake i need you to check my bra it might be to...loose." Drake was going crazy he resisted but manned up untangled it but her giganto boobs shot out and destroyed the wall."Drake to the assistant Principal's office" Drake was in fear he never wanted to get in trouble he was only helping his sexy big bre...(AN:Strong independant female charecter). Drake was in the Assistant Principal's office and was afraid of getting in trouble "Drake Bearer (AN:As in bearer of the curse) he would like to see you" Drake walked over to the large iron chair and climbed up it."You know why your her" Drake gulped and said "No Mr...Smelter." he made small laugh and told Drake."You have caused trouble to many times and got off scot free Gwyn is taking a week off meaning im Principal now you've been in about 25 fights this year alone sweared in classes and skipped school for 3 weeks straight with no excuses." Drake knew what would happen he was getting his dad called and was getting his ass grounded until he is 27 and wouldn't be able to go to that one college in catarina."Hmph you will have detention today for causing mischeif not only that but also for being a dick" Drake was mentally shitting himself and his brain was screaming louder than mytha's head on a roller coaster. Drake was carried off to the undead asylum (AN:This is detention stated in chapter 4) he was thrown into a cell with a familiar face."Sev it's you your still in detention" asked Drake but Sev broke the news "Remember lautrec when was the last time you saw him." "Back in 9th grade when he got into a fight with Patches" "He was sent do detention and did we ever see him again no but I saw him when sent to detention you stay here forever."


	8. NG

At school everyone was talking about the up coming game."I can't wait for the game it is going to be so hype Lordran Knights vs Jugo warriors!" Haxis said so happily that he probably pissed himself."Hey the game dosen't even sounds interresting Haxis you don't even like Soulsball so why are you excited?" Asked Oscar. The intercom came on and revealed information to everyone in the school."Attention everyone the two students Sev and Drake have escaped detention if you see them call the police." Everyone was shocked they never knew the two were in detention because the school told them Drake was attending his father's funeral in Catarina and Sev moved to volgen with his family and would come back in a few years. "What those to were in detention were are they now?" Asked Oscar. They were on the bus and the gang were silent Haxis was shocked Drake had been taken away from them before but know he is a outlaw." I hope he is okay" "SHUT THE FUCK UP" Oscar screamed at Haxis as the bus stopped waiting for a dragon to cross a street "IS'T A FUKCN DRAGOON" Screamed Gwyndolyn and a Pissed off Orn yelled at her."God dammit Gwyndolyn stop acting like a child" Orn jumped out the bus and murdered the dragon.

In the streets of Blightown which are dangerous like detroit but even worse."It is dangerous in the ghetto but we have to hide here." Sev told Drake and he nodded as he opened a door. But it was the wrong one and he saw a bunch of gangsters doing like playing poker, smoking drugs, and having orgy but they all stopped and looked at him "Who dis mark ass busta?" yelled a gangster cocking his 9mm about to shoot Drake. "Yo boss let's get dis Bitch ass ho!" yelled the gangster as the "boss" no one other than the...capra demon "Well well well ain't dis a bitch" he said then he charged towards Drake with a swing of ultimate death but he dodge and got cut on the arm."Shit Capra your stronger than before!" "Muthafucka I neva fought yo bitch ass" Drake grabbed a pool cue and smacked him across the head and through balls at him. Sev was eating maorwana and was completly spaced out while Drake and Capra were fighting. CLANK CLANK the swords clashed but Drake parried Capra and punched him in the jaw "Goat simulator is gay!" and he kicked him in the tummy. Capra picked up Drake and threw him out the window and he landed in a car and since he was in the hood the car had a gun. He shot Capra in the dick with a uzi "SHHHHHIT MA DICK HOMIE!" Drake finished him off buy unloading a hole clip in his ass (Literaly).

2 weeks later. "Hell yes the game is later on today!" "Why the fuck are you so excited?" They argued inside the gym locker room as Smough came out wearing his team jersey."I'm going to rek bitches out on the field today!" Smough said it was his first football game since he was unable to play his other games because his hospitalization. Mirror knight, Seigemeyer and Veldstadt came out wearing jerseys over the summer Lordran and Drangleic's teams were made into one because of the similarites of the to lands. Later on the game started and Smough was the running back and Mirror Knight was the best QuaterBack of the team. Seigemeyer was on bench because he had a injury while he was in the bathroom."YESSS I WAITED SOOOOO LONG FOR THIS!" Haxis pulled out a pen but the push in part came off and there was a little red button."OHH shit everyone get down" screamed Oscar as he tackled Gwynevere while tackling her he accidently put his face in her boobs. Haxis clicked the button and the SoulsBall areana exploded."I kidnapped Titchy Gren and im holding that little FAG somewhere HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Haxis said evily like a mad scientist creating a new death invention."You kidnapped Gren you son of a shitdick." yelled Creighton he was angry because he kidnapped his friend. Haxis ran home to his hidden lab and the gang got back up and went home not knowing he was gone. Oscar got a call from Creighton "Oscar I need your help I have to fight Haxis at school tomarrow and I can't fight to well" "Sure I'll be there as soon as possible." Oscar said dashing out the house like a horse on speed drugs. DING DONG Oscar rang the bell and was welcomed by Creighton's busty mom and went to his friend's room.

"Finally your here I need to learn how to fight Haxis agreed to not use magic." Oscar was relived but he still needed to learn."Your a fast learner so with a quick montage of training about 15 seconds long you will magically be a fighting champion" then a montage occured and Creighton became a fighting badass "I'm ready for my fight tomarrow see ya!" Oscar said goodbye and went home so he can get ready for a loooooong day. It was a anxious day for everyone all the students wanted to see this fight and Smough was handing out popcorn and soda cause he saw a money oportunity like a homeless person getting scratch cards so he can win the lottery."So assbitch you really came well prepare to get your ass fucked!" Haxis screamed like a elephant being killed by a drill going through his balls. Creighton dodged his punch and countered him punching him in the face and he unleashed a barrage of punches that spanned for about 2 mins. Haxis tried to punch Creighton and jumped over him and sweep kicked him making him fall "You bastard were is Gren WHERE IS GREN!" Haxis said "Up your ass fagit!" Creighton punched him hard in the mouth "Fine I hid him in my safehouse in Blight town COUGH COUGH!" Haxis was all bloody and was taken to juvey for being a ass which was against the law. Oscar and Ornstein went to blight town all the way to the safehouse. They got to the cage and freed Gren "Thank you I have to practice for the talent show im planning on winning since my performance will be to DIE for." Oscar thought about how gay Gren was and Gren was gayer than a car filled with gay clowns losers heading to a ballerina recital. Oscar went home and thought how his day didn't turn out too bad."Lord Gwyn these are the two felons who escaped detention what do you want with them?" "Let them off with a warning next time you will take them to the scared straight program so they can learn about prison rape!" Drake went back into the castle were he shared a room with Oscar Gwynevere welcomed him home as well as Ornstein. Drake was told about the recent events although he talked with Creighton about it over the phone alittle later." Haxis kidnapped that little fag Gren what a ass wait the Talent show is next I just remembered and we all a forced to go!"

1 week later. Everyone was at the talent show and were bored they were at the talent show with a bunch of loser idiots and pedophiles."This is fuckin boring!" Sev said bored but then it was Gren's turn and he was a total FAG and sung do you want to build a snow man. Half way through the song he reached to his back pocket and pulled out a dessert eagle and shot Creighton in the chest. Sev pulled out two mac 10's and shot like a crazy maniac with a minigun. Then on accident he shot a gas tank blowing up the theater causing Gren to run away "Weak pussy" Sev shouted as Drake and Oscar pursued him and Sev followed.


	9. NG2

AN: So a part 2 I guess im going to try to be less immature in this chapter and that will be pretty hard eh. Leave a review for the chapter if you like this form and also leave one for the chapter. I'm also having a hard time with story lines so im planning on bringing in DLC characters. Drake will be somewhat different as a character since he is somewhat weak. Without my ramblings going on any futher NG+2 BICHTES!

Drake was running down the hallway kicking down a door to the janitor's room. He pulled a Glock out of a bucket and cocked it "Yes the good one finally!". Then he heard gunshots and then ran after Sev. BANG! BANG! "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIEEEEEE!". Sev kept shooting at Gren and then he got out a pyromancy flame and did SUPER FUCKN AWSOM AZZ CHAOS FIREBALL! Half the school exploded and the was ash everywhere like a Pokemon convention and everyone dressed up as Ash."COUGH YES i'm the only one alive fuck you all I lived YESSSS!". But Drake and Oscar got up covered in ash and went to Gren who had his legs covered in rubble. "Why did you do it you-" "I did it because I wanted to kill everyone because they made funs of me for being" "Gay?" "No for being a...ganker". Drake's temper rose he was a ganker he pulled out his gun and was about to kill him but Sev lowered Drake's gun."Why are you a ganker?" "YOU DUMBASS THAT ISN'T WHY SHITHEADS AHHHHHHHHHHH!". Gren died cause of his wounds Sev got on one knee and and took Gren's phone and looked through his messages to see if there was any clues but no.

One week later. Drake was in the bed starring at the ceiling and tried to sleep but heard something on the roof."Who is on the roof i'm climbing up there and kicking their ass." he got up there and saw Ornstein and Artorias then Smough came with cans of either soda or some form of beer."OrnSTien who is that GUIY" "Artorias it is just Drake." Drake was confused why are they up 3:00 in the morning on the fucking roof at 3:00 in the morning. "What the hell are you to doing on the roof."."Well were having a party people form DS1 are coming and partying at the castle were just waiting.". Why wasn't Drake invited and why in 3am in the morning on a thursday and he had to wake up in 3 hours."(sigh) Well why wasn't I invited i'm a Dark Souls character technically.". Ornstein looked down "Well we weren't planning on invitinng DS2 characters since well...because..."."Hey guys I got the marowana from Dra-" "Wait a second he isn't a DS1 character he is wearing Faraam armor" "Well actually I am a DS1 character but I had a "friend" get the set for me.". 5am. Loud dubstep was booming from all over and all the DS2 characters were at a abandon warehouse because the music was so loud and so were the people. They were so loud that there are bird carcasses in the streets."Emerald can you move your leg it is in my face." "That isn't my foot that's Pate's." "No that is Criegton's foot!" "Fuck you, YOU INSIGNIFICUNT!". Everyone was cramped and they were sleeping on floor with a make shift blanket and were packed like a bunch of screwjobs packed in a clown car. Drake was in the middle of Crieghton behind him and Emerald in front who's hair was in his face and smelt like strawberries. Drake was fuming with the "horndogs" and she scooted towards him and her ass bumped his magic missle.(I don't know why my body feels weird I never had feelings for Emerald but I do know she likes me but I would take her any day over Gwyndolyn). She move more towards him to the point were she had her back to his chest and went back into the covers where her head was to his chest.(AN: I just going to establish height she is 4ft tall he is 5ft and a half feet tall). He was going to go nuts if she dosen't move but he tried to move and he didn't notice that trying to do so he grabbed her ass cheeks and pushed them away."Uhh Drake is it time to get up?". He was frozen up and had no idea what to say."Um in a little bit just go back to sleep."

Drake was walking to the bus stop and saw 3 extra figures standing at the bus stop."OORNSTEIN WOO U LIK A CHACRIT BARRR!" Artorias yelled annoying Ornstein like flies flying by your ear every 5 seconds."Sorry Ornstein my abyssal side gets GFDUSFYOEIHF ANY ONE WUNT CHACRIT!" Artorias yelled again as Gough accidently tripped flatting a small child. Drake rushed over and was confused."Why are you three still here?" "We three decided to go to school here we all decided to stay with soon to be captain.". Drake looked down at his boots in disaproval and went to Oscar in need of advice."Oscar I need help." "What is it if it's about women I can help you like no other.". Drake felt uneasy and spilled his secrets to him."You have the hots for Emerald I heard she is a keeper I have my eye's on a different woman.". The bus came and the rode it to school. Drake sat in his seat looking out the window and Gwyndolyn sat in his seat."Something bothers you dosen't it?" Drake confused as always said."How do you know and what does it matter to you?!". Gwyndolyn smiled and like him getting mad she had his full attention but she wanted more than just his attention."We've been friends for years besides is this isn't just about your parents?". "Not really but...it has nothing to do with you so leave!". He was agravated at first but then he was in inferno rage but it only made Gwyndolyn smile and even...aroused her beyond belief."You have a new crush on Emerald huh...well then you will go back to Gwynevere then to some other girl.". She was openly insulting him which made him even more mad."What if that isn't it is this about your parents you dirty orphan.". He let out a gasp and tried to refuse the fact he was sad because of his missing parents who were supposed to be back a long time ago."Yes I said it you sad because your parents are DEAD!". Drake was shocked why would she do this to him? "What are you going to get mad you dirty FUCKING ORPHAN huh you are feeling sad because your a orphan?!". Drake was mad beyond human comprehension like throwing rocks at a beehive and the bees get mad. Drake punched Gwyndolyn in the face making her fly out the bus and crash into a resturant."Finally that punch made me-". She was interupted by a punch in the jaw and her head was grabbed and forced to Drake's knee 8 times."You orphan child getting mad since you don't have parents.". "Go fuck yourself you dirty whore" Drake started to punch her in the nose until it broke then he grabbed her and impaled her on a peice of rebar killing her.

Gwyndolyn was now dead like a skeleton in a coffin."That made me feel better just great!". Drake was happy and walked to school and had went to his 2nd period. He walked to pyromancy class and sat next to Smough."Hey Smough how are you doin?" "Hmmm I'm hungry...WHAT!" " . ?!". Drake screamed at him but his teacher told him to leave class for disrupting calss and go to...Mr. Smelter."Well well well isn't Drake the little escapee.". Mr. Smelter wasn't scary but very intimidating and made the strongest gankers shit themselves."You know what happens to bad students?". Drake thought this would end up like those pornos Oscar watches."Noooo what?" He said grabbing his sword."Well... they die!". Smelter grabbed his sword and was about to cut his ass in half but Drake grabbed his sword and blocked it. Drake ran away towards the 11th grade hallway and bumped into someone."Hey are you okay?". Said a tall slender figure with a ultra greatsword."I'm the Ivory...Prince.". Smelter chrashed through the wall and on instinct Drake stabbed Smelter through the balls."NOOO!". Drake didn't mean to stab him in the balls and ripped it out. Ivory the slashed at his stomsch and shreded it like cutting cheese. Then he got his sword and shoved it up his ass. "AAAAGGGGGH!". It killed him instantly and the two thanked each other and fucked off.

Drake was back at the werehouse which him and some of his DS2 friends slept at and was back to look for his friend. He saw Emerald sleeping and softly punched her arm waking her up and the two stared at each other before Drake asked her."So you were her the whole time sleeping?". She was dazed but said yes and got up and leaned on Drake cause she was "Exhausted" and closed her eyes.(AN: Prepare for some tears) "Well are you coming back home? I think you should.". Emerald looked away almost like she didn't want to look at him but then got instantly saddend."I...don't want to come back.". Drake was in shock he couldn't beileve this she dosen't want to come back home or to him."Drake it isn't you it's me.""Godammit that means it's me!". Emerald went away from him looking at the city from the window."I don't want to be here anymore I'm usless basically in Lordran just because my parents moved here I'm not a strong god.". Drake looked at his shoes and kept quiet."Why do I bother being in Lordran since I'm a stupid weak bitch!". Emerald made Drake just as sad or even more sad than her ."Say something...why don't you say something to me!". Drake got close to her so they were face to helmet and bear hugged her so hard.

Sev was walking through the hallways of school which was abandoned like a haunted house. Sev was thinking about how Drake and Gwyndolyn fought earlier and wondered why they fought but his thoughts were inturppted by a certain hall moniter."Hey fuck face you are not supposed to be here.". Said the guy who got Sev's attention."Alonne you fuck I'm going to whoop your ass for intruding on my crimes.". Sev got out his gun and shot Sir Alonne but he vanished in mist and popped out in fornt of him kicking him in the face. He then grabbed Sev's leg and threw him into the wall running at him and picked him up by the neck."I'm going to break your neck bitch!". Sev kicked Alonne in the face and threw a grenade at him. Alonne jumped onto a wall pulled out two uchigatanas and unleashed a frenzy of slashes. Sev couldn't dodge them all but was able to pull out a dagger and stabbed Alonne but on instinct he kicked Sev into a special ed class. Sev grabbed a chair and bashed it over Alonne's head and followed it with a punch to the rib. Alonne unleashed punches like the punch-out games on a hyper speed mode making Sev fall on the floor and got up to punch him in the face. Alonne kicked Sev in the face then roundhouse kicked Sev into a whiteboard which followed with a dropkick in the janitor closet. Alonne charged at Sev like a cheetah on uber hyper juice and steroids with the speed of dragons mixed with panthers and lions. Alonne unleashed his special attack the ultimate hyper dragon tiger death kick which sent Sev into the ceiling which made a giant explosion. Sev had smoke coming of him and was mad he then started to glow purple he was glowing with dark. Alonne took out his betwiched Alonne sword and started glowing red and the two charged at each other. (AN:DON'T LOSE YOUR WAAAAAAAY) Alonne chopped of Sev's head killing him and taking Sev's soul.

The cast was at the castle and watched the news which reported on Sev's death."Sev is dead?". Asked Smough confusing everyone making them think bad thoughts about Sev. They went to the bus stop and it was a akward bus ride to school all they talked about was Sev's death and when they got to school in the anoncements said there was going to be a GAY assembly."Alright everyone Principal Gwyn here we all know about the accident that destroyed the gym and destroyed 90% of the west wing sadly.". Drake was soo bored and he put his hand on Emerald gaining her attention."Emerald I need your help.""What.". Drake had a nice pervy smile and he and Emerald snuck away from the assembly and to the roof of school. (AN: Lemon ahead WARNING WARNING Lemon ahead) Drake and Emerald were on the roof like birds looking for food and were about to do dirty things. Drake put her hood down and they start to mek out while grabbing her bumcheks then he puts his beef greatsword inside Emerald and she went nuts."Ahhhhhh shit!". He then puts her dress down and sucks on her boobs like they were five pound gummy bears while fucking her virgina and he gets a super nerection which makes her fly foward but Drake catches her before she flew off the roof. Drake was about to burst gallons of his great magic seed inside her but then she used her super sex move using her vaginal muscle squeezing his dark weapon."Your squeezing me aahhh!". She began to shoot her estus blast all over Drake and he tasted it and he went nuts. He started to eat her up and she tasted like strawberry fanta and it was like she was giving his taste buds a orgasm. Drake then began to stick his head in her vagini and started to lick her ovaries. He got his head out before she sufrucated him with her vagina and he laid on the ground as she felt around his package as it harden cause it looked like the world's tastiest birthday cake and then she inserts it into her but hole then he fucked the living daylights outs of her. Emerald's eyes got really blurry so she closed them she then took it out of her then she just rubbed him off then he unloaded his dick butter like a water hose filled with icing.

A week later. "Then she beat my dick off and it was awsome now she is my waifu for ever." Oscar was so interested since it was sex and Solaire was oddly interested making him want to her about it. Then someone came through the doors it was the Fume knight (AN: I HATE THE FUCKING FUME KNIGHT) who walked on top of a table and said to everyone in the lunch room. "Drake Bearer I challenge thee to a duel be there or be square.". Drake retaliated by getting face to face or helmet to helmet saying. "I don't know who you are but if your challenging me I will be queef lord!"


End file.
